Buckyballers have been co-opted into all sorts of jobs under the guise of a “race”. I remember once having to inspect tunnels during the “Tunnel Vision” event last season. We were supposed to examine the insides of these structures for damage and structural flaws but at the speeds we were travelling at it wasn’t exactly a job well done. Not only that but once the race was over we had caused far more damage to these structures in one week than they had ever received since they had been built!
This wasn’t true of the last race. The Ring Tossers Rally was just that – an out an out race. It had been a lot of fun but now we were eagerly awaiting the next. An event curiously titled “Pop Gun”.
Guns, I thought, what the hell have guns got to do with racing?
About a week before it was to begin all the Buckyballers were summoned to the Fleet Carrier Penny Benjamin in the CT Tucanae system. I jumped the Garden there and traveled the rest of the way in the I Think I’m Going Bald. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was hoping it was going to be at least a bit special as this was to be the 100th Buckyball race and that kind of thing really needed to be celebrated. I docked at the Benjamin, disembarked and made my way to the concourse.
The guardsman stopped me as I walked out of the elevator.
“You here for the…er…race?”
“You betcha!” I smiled
“Everyone’s to meet in the viewing area underneath the bridge in one hour for a briefing. And you gotta wear shades.” he added.
I frowned. “Shades? Why?”
“Ya don’t wear shades, ya don’t race!”
“What?”
“I don’t make the rules, just get to the viewing area on time or the Captain will chew ya ball…er…chew ya…” he shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, I inclined my head, and couldn’t help a smirk grow across my face.
“Just get there on time, Cadet.”
I left him, and made my way to the bar.
Cadet?
I was still mulling this over as I walked down to the viewing area. Some of the other racers had been mulling around the bar too. And some followed me down while others had already made their way there. There were charts with various pictures of the insides of installation structures and diagrams displaying randomly on a screen facing the row of seats. I sat down with the others and waited. At the front, with his back to us, gazing out onto the flight deck of the Benjamin, was who I assumed to be the Captain. When we had settled he slowly turned around. He scanned us, judging each of us with his steely gaze. His face couldn’t help but betray a morsel of disappointment and resignation.
“Good morning aviators, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to advanced flight manoeuvres, and the BRC’s 100th race!!”
We looked at each other, what did he mean “advanced flight manoeuvres”?
He continued, “My callsign is Vanguard, although my actual name is Caelum Incola, from the agricultural backwater of Ross 860, planet A 4, and the city of New Quark, just near that really cool diner on the corner of 57th street…it does great pancakes….”
“But I digress…”
“You are the Bubble’s best in the Bubble of the best in the Bubble, and I’ve gathered you here today for a critical mission in…. the… Bubble.
“We have received intelligence from a shadowy source that won’t be exposed throughout this entire campaign about a military threat from an even more obscure and nameless faction who in no way resembles any current entity causing any potential tensions throughout occupied space.”
Mission? Military threat? Just what was going on here? We all shifted uncomfortably as he detailed the mission objectives. The whole race was just a ruse. We were to have our racing ships outfitted with dumbfire missiles and we were to perform bombing runs, covertly, against strategic targets in a neighbouring system. We were to treat it as a race officially though, there would be leaderboards and winners, but it was really a military operation.
And if we weren’t careful, we could end up in jail.
And so the rehearsal runs began. I just visited each location first, had a nose around, mentally checking off, in my head, everything that we had to do there. At first glance it was a complex race, and it was a very complex race, yet by the end of the week I thought I had most of it down. Every day I would come back down to the observation deck on the Benjamin and check out the charts that has been left for us, just to make sure I was doing everyting correctly. There was a lot to take in!
It was also a tricky course to navigate. Lots of tunnels, tight corners, hostile forces attacking the installation while you’re trying to quietly scan, skimming the ground toward a setllement to avoid detection, flying through tight, spinning habitation rings. All of it could destroy you in a couple of knocks, especially at the speeds we were trvalling at.
Then there were the bonuses we’d be offered if we flew even more dangerously, and thereby helping us to further avoid detection. A “Take My Breath Away” bonus for flying for as long as possible with out life support, a “Highway to the Danger Zone” bonus for flying the entire run without shields and a “Great Balls of Fire” bonus for getting our vessels heated to over 250%. Although I’m not too sure about that last one. I strongly suspect that has far more to do with Caelum Incola’s psychotic streak, than any stealth advantages.
By the following weekend, not long after the “race” had officially begun, I thought I was ready to put down a run. I embarked on the Baldy, set the route for the Agartha system where all of the bombing runs were to take place, donned my shades, started the evidence recording, and off I went.
We could do the targets in any order, so I decided on a route that worked for me with my limited piloting skills and stuck to it. I didn’t bother with any of the bonuses, I just wanted to get a time on the board.
It didn’t seem to go too badly! Firstly I landed on Agartha 2e, outside the required 15kms distance from Matarov Analysis Complex. I then took off and sped toward the settlement, only slowing down a little to let a missile off at the power building (incurring a fine) before rocketing off into the sky and to my next target.
Misty Pool Medical Centre, located within the rings of the gas giant Agartha 2. I found the satellite I had to scan, hung there as surreptitiously as I could while the scanner did its thing, then I had to fly through the tunnel located in Ward B and destroy the power coupling (incurring a fine). We also had to fire missiles at the doors at both ends just to get in and out the other side.
Onto the fleet carrier construction yard at Enoch Port. We had to fly a specific route here underneath the carrier and into a series of short tunnels that led to the reactor room. We had to fire a missile at either the top or bottom reactor structure (incurring a fine) and then make fast our escape.
Lastly I flew to the megaship Lucient Embrace orbiting within the rings of the gas giant Agartha 2. Here I had to fly through the habitation rings to the central trench, fly along the trench to then locate a particular cargo crate and hover silently facing it, letting the evidence camera take in as much detail as possible before flying off and heading back to the Benjamin.
Somehow I managed a clean run. It was the first time I had done so. I had racked up a few hundred credits worth of fines, but that’s nothing for a Buckyball pilot. It had also been a bit messy, quite a few bumps here and there but I had survived. My gravity breaking wasn’t up to much either. Braking at Enoch Port was reasonably straight forward but for planetary landings, installations close to gas giants and within the rings I had no braking aptitude whatsoever. I handed in my evidence regardless and nervously awaited the debrief. We waited anxiously all day, pacing around the carrier, trying to make small talk, discussing strategies and our differing approaches until, finally, we were summoned to Vanguard’s office.
He didn’t seem particularly pleased
“Ok Pilots. Our first mission attempts have been a mixed bag of success and failure. We can not afford to fail this mission and I urge those of you that did not succeed to re-read the mission brief.”
“CMDR Sulu, Your run was excellent apart from scanning the wrong container at Lucent Embrace.” (there was a sly snigger from Cmdr Alec Turner at this), “We now have information on a shipment of Leestian Evil Juice that I’m sure our superiors will not appreciate.”
Sulu looked dejected, I felt really sorry for him. Turner, however, was laughing into the palm of his hand. No time for me to get angry, my turn was next.
“CMDR Leeya Geddy,” I tensed up – here it comes, I thought, “you scanned the wrong satellite at Misty Pool that now means we have an abundance of Cat Media filling up our Insight Entertainment Suites, which whilst adorable, is not what we need. We also received intelligence that you did not enter silent running whilst scanning the cargo container at Lucent Embrace. This could have led the enemy back to us, but we appear to have been fortunate this time”
“That said, the remaining CMDRs that attempted the mission met with success and made it back alive. Commendable effort pilots.”
I stood there in shock, devastated, but was snapped out of it by one of the racers marching to the front. It was Alec Turner.. He clicked his heels together, stood to attention, saluted and replied, “Yes sir, thank you sir! I think I can do better sir!”
“You kiss-ass!” I murmered to him under my breath.
He must have heard, he glanced at me with a sly grin and continued, “Sir … I’d like to report that I have gone faster sir! In both classes sir!” he must have had a sneaky couple of attempts just before the briefing, “Also, I’d like to report commander Leeya Geddy for insubordination sir!”
I was fuming. But Vanguard didn’t flinch. He flashed a look at me with a barely perceptable smirk before retorting, “Outstanding work, Turner. I’ll review your mission footage later today. Let’s hope there are no FUBARs. Also, I’d keep whatever you ladies chit chat about in your knitting circles to yourselves. Insubordination requires a difference in rank, which last time I looked you two don’t have. Dismissed!”
Well, that was something.
The leaderboard went up. Only three commanders in the unlimited category had managed to complete a run. It made me feel a little better, but the times would have put my run, had it been a valid one, to shame. It was time to take off the gloves, fly faster, nastier and with all the bonuses.
It took attempt, after attempt, after attempt. I just could’t get it right. With my shields down it was hard not to take a critical amount of damage. The habitation rings at the Lucient were a particular problem, plus I was having trouble doing the fiddly things like selecting the next target and finding the correct satellite at Misty Pool. Most runs had to be abandoned and with some I blew up, having to have my escape pod collected by the Rescue Rangers. And this wasn’t just happening to me. Many Buckballers were having problems submitting valid runs. Were we all really up to this kind of racing?
The real blow, however, came a few days after the racing period had began. I had amassed a fair few fines by now, without bothering to have them annulled at the station in the staging system where the Benjamin was berthed. I dropped in at Enoch station, deployed my hardpoints far too early, was detected by the station’s security and blown to bits by their lasers. The Rescue Rangers came to collect my pod.
It was a one way trip to prison.
I had to spend a couple of days at the Empire’s pleasure. I sent a message to Vanguard explaining that I needed leave to accompany my significant other to hospital for two days of tests, but I’m pretty sure he knew where I really was. It was a tense time, the other prisoners had been put there for similar offences but nobody really wanted to talk. They all just wanted to do their time, pay their insurance, and then just get the hell out of there.
Once I was out, I flew back to the Benjamin for more attempts. Owing to the alarming frequency I was destroying my ship, I decided to import a fully engineered 2a hull reinforcement module from the Garden so, hopefully, I could survive a few knocks. Then, on the final Saturday morning of the race period with only 48 hours remaining of the mission window, I embarked on another attempt.
Much better approach to Matarov Analysis complex, and a direct hit on the power building. Headed out towards the rings but was a little too enthusiastic with the overdrive so I approached the rings from a little farther out than I liked. Approach to the rings was better but I still needed to practise this.
Pretty sure I scanned the correct satellite this time at Misty Pool Medical Centre (I had restudied the diagrams for hours after my failure last time) before heading though the tunnel and destroying the power coupling, having time to select my next destination before escaping into supercruise.
Navigated the tunnels at the Enoch Port fleet carrier construction yard more efficiently and scored a hit on the top reactor structure although I hit the corner of the exit tunnel and almost spun completely back around, wasting a precious few seconds.
Better navigation of the Lucient Embrace although the supercruise approach could have been a lot more efficient. Turned on silent running as soon as I dropped into normal space and left it on throughout the whole manoeuvre. This way I was able to reach the required 250% heat just after finding the correct cargo container,
Then it was time to get home. Triumphantly I managed to nail the gravity breaking to drop in on the Benjamin to complete my run. It was a few minutes faster than my botched run a week before but had I scanned the correct satellite? I was ninety nine per-cent sure I had but….
That evening, all the pilots with completed runs were called into the Captain’s office for the debrief, as it had been every evening. I waited anxiously for my turn to come. First though, Cmdr Shaye Blackwood had his debrief. Caelum Ignola was impressed. Blackwood was a living legend, even among us Buckyballers. Ignola walked up to him and clasped his shoulders in admiration.
“Son, you must carry around your own secret souped up Alcubierre drive or something because that was frankly astonishing. Either that or your hydrogen fuel comes from some secret lab somewhere out in Fullerene C60. You’re gonna make a few jaws drop among the gathered throng here in the hangar tonight when they see that time on the board. You got beat up a little at Misty Pool and Matarov, but overall, wow, great job, and in the Cobra too! Fantastic!”
None of us were surprised, but there was no time for me to admire his time, it was my turn next!
“CMDR Leeya Geddy. Nice run, but only just. I saw zero meters per second at the container for the shortest amount of time my old eyes could pick up. Almost had to disappoint you there pilot, but you’re on the board. Well done!”
I almost teared up. I saluted, speechless, and waited for the others to get their debrief. Everyone that day had performed a successful run!
I tried to better my run the next day, but kept messing up. Alec Turner had been boasting a lot about using his Eagle to massively better hs time and jump up some positions on the board. He seemed to be rather smug about his latest run. That evening, there was the usual debrief, which we all attended whether we had submitted evidence or not. It was nearly the end. Cmdr FearlessF21 had put in a botched run, failing to scan both the correct satellite at Misty Pool and the correct container at the Lucient, Ozric had put in a fantastic regulation run and then it was Turner’s turn.
“CMDR Alec Turner, glad to see you throwing a ship around again. You seem to have forgotten all the requirements for this mission though as you didn’t enter silent running whilst scanning the container. I expected better from you after your change of character this week too. Damn.”
“There’s about 16 hours to go as I write this CMDRs, still time to make a difference. Let’s give it one last shot and give ‘em hell!”
“Dismissed!”
At the bar, we could all distinctly hear Alec Turner smashing up the inside of his ship, screaming every curse word in the Bubble.
There was still a little time on Monday, I had attempted a final run and it was good, but had been interdicted by a pirate on final approach to the Penny Benjamin and it had been ruined. Never mind, there were still pilots who hadn’t yet completed a successful mission so I still felt proud I had done my bit.
The final debrief went down on the Monday night. The mission window having closed at 12.00 midday Universal Galactic Time. There were still some cadets that were failing to put in successful runs, but amazing times were put in by Alec Turner, more than making up for his failure the previous day, Shaye Blackwood (of course), Raiko, PolarBruski, LeroyJethroTull and Sulu with an incredible run by Kevin The Stabber in the regulation class and notable runs by Tobias Von Brandt, Ozric and Alec Turner.
“Great campaign pilots,” remarked Incola, finishing up, “you can sleep in your beds tonight knowing you made a difference.”
“Dismissed”
Afterword
I have to say for the first Centenary Buckyball Racing Club Race, this experience was special, Really special. I cannot praise Caelum Incola enough. From the race trailer he kept his persona going right throughout the race and the work he put in to writing those debriefs, tailoring every single one to each pilot who had submitted a run was phenomenal and immense fun to read. We were all glued to the forum the whole week! Kudos also had to go to all the other pilots who played up to the scenario and kept in character themselves, saluting, deferring to authority (mostly), picking on each other right the way through. I was just the most magical experience. This will be a race that will be talked over for may, many years to come.
So, when is a race not a race? Well, I’ll tell you…
When it’s a profound roleplaying experience.
Until next time, o7
Ps, Cmdr Alec Turner isn’t really like that! It’s all roleplaying. Note how his callsign changes on the leaderboards. He’s lovely, really. Honest!
Elite Dangerous RUSH FLEET 
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